


See Me In Hindsight

by returnsandreturns



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Drinking, Ensemble Cast, Enthusiastic Consent, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 13:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2814413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnsandreturns/pseuds/returnsandreturns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I haven’t,” Amy says, distracted by the fact that she’s almost panting against the side of Rosa’s face, “With a girl—a woman,” because, yeah, Rosa’s not a girl. Rosa has possibly never been a girl. Rosa probably came out of the womb as a grown ass woman wearing tasteful leather, and Amy has always been kind of jealous of that, except she’s not jealous right now. She is definitely something other than jealous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See Me In Hindsight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [victoria_p (musesfool)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/gifts).



> HI HELLO I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS
> 
> It is not canon compliant as of the last several episodes, re: Amy's breakup with Teddy. Also, if I were better at porn, this would have led to more competition-fueled sex-offs, because obviously.

Teddy breaks up with Amy at the beginning of December, and it should be A Thing but it isn’t. To be perfectly honest, Amy kind of didn’t notice it happened until all of Teddy’s stuff was gone from her place, her bathroom sink suddenly free of his extra razor and sensible travel-sized shaving cream. She liked that about him, that he still shaved every morning before she woke up. It felt like when girls in movies would get up thirty minutes early to fix their hair and makeup just to sneak back into bed so the guys in their life would think they woke up like that. 

Amy never did that. She takes off all her makeup before she goes to sleep and wears a mouthguard. She would take it out before she kissed him, at least? 

He broke up with her in a really polite way over a dinner that he made himself, saying they wanted different things, and then he just left and it was over. She’s not sure if she’s upset or confused or anything, but then everybody at the station finds out. And if it wasn’t A Thing before, then it definitely becomes A Thing, whether she likes it or not. 

*  


“I got you a milkshake,” Jake says, the morning after Teddy leaves, “because unfortunately I am in a newly committed relationship with Hot Ass Brenda and cannot be your rebound lay.” 

None of them has ever met Hot Ass Brenda, nor do they know whether she just has a really nice butt or if he’s just using ass as an intensifier. They do know, though, that Jake thinks he might propose to her because she does this thing, you know, with her TONGUE that’s JUST—anyway. Amy’s heard more than enough about her. 

She tries the milkshake. It’s peanut butter and banana. 

“I think I’m okay,” she says.

“I also got you a cookie,” Jake continues, “to help deal with the pain of losing both me and Tedward.” 

Chocolate chip. 

“You know I never actually dated you, right?” she asks. 

“We practically dated,” Jake says, “which, I’ve heard from several sources, is more than enough.” 

“I hope you and Hot Ass Brenda are very happy together,” Amy says, and Jake nods sagely, reaching over the desk to break off half the cookie for himself. 

“Oh, yeah, and Boyle got you this cookbook for lonely people,” Jake adds, a few moments later, dropping a book on her desk. Gourmet Cooking for One. Across the room, Boyle tilts his head at her but the book really says everything. 

Amy actually manages to get some work done between sympathetic glances and Jake cracking sixteen jokes a minute like he’s trying to be nice and distract her. She’s just about to sign off on her last report and throw in the towel for the day when she hears a dramatic cough from behind her.

“Jake told me that you broke up with your boring manfriend, and I’m here as a spiritual guide to help you process your emotions,” Gina says, appearing out of nowhere and causing Amy to jump and spill her coffee all over her desk.  


She mutters, “Shoot,” and Gina says, “There is no use crying over spilled coffee, tiny awkward butterfly.” 

“I’m fine, I don’t need any spiritual guidance,” Amy says, shaking the report off over the trashcan even though she’ll have to throw it out and reprint a new one. Maybe some people can hand in reports covered in miscellaneous food stains but not Amy Santiago. She rises above the rest in that her work is never covered in hot sauce fingerprints or Pop Tart crumbs. 

“Amelia,” Gina says, putting her hands on Amy’s shoulders and turning her around in her chair so they’re facing each other. “Can I call you Amelia.” 

“Well, that’s not my name,” Amy starts, but Gina interrupts her: “ _Ah_ -melia. You need to feel your feelings. Let me help you _feel_ your _feelings_.” 

There is a 98.5% chance that Gina is about to try and sell her weed. 

“I don’t want to _feel_ anything,” Amy says, frowning at her. “I just want to get my work done and go home.” 

From across the room, Jake yells,”TITLE OF AMY SANTIAGO’S SEX TAPE.” 

*  


When Amy actually gets home that night, she finds a burnt CD in her bag labeled: Guru Gina’s Guide to a Successful Split Up With a Sex Partner. It is just “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye seventeen times in a row.

There’s also a tiny bag of marijuana, which Amy immediately tries to burn to get rid of the evidence then, realizing her mistake, flushes down the toilet. They really need to have a talk with Gina about what drugs are illegal in New York. 

*  


When she gets into work the next morning, Amy finds a short email from Holt that says: _Put on your workout clothing and come to the roof at noon. Tell no-one._

She has never been more excited in her life.

At exactly noon, and after waiting in the stairwell for a full fifteen minutes, she shoves open the door and bounds onto the roof. 

“What can I help you with, Captain?” she asks, before she has a chance to take in the scene. The scene which is Terry Jeffords in yoga pants and the Captain in sensible black sweats, doing stretches to the dulcet soundtrack of Celtic folk music. “Oh my god.” 

“Hello, Santiago,” Terry says, serenely. 

“Hi?” she replies.

“We wanted to invite you to join us for one of our yoga sessions,” Holt says. “We have them daily and thought you could benefit.” 

“Since _when_?” Amy asks, because, oh my god, nobody else in their precinct could possibly handle this knowledge, and oh my god, _why hasn’t she been invited before?_

“Since Peralta and Boyle let all those feral cats loose when we found rats in the holding cells,” Holt replies, calmly but with an appropriate note of horror that brings her back to being covered in clawmarks and hives set to Scully singing a disturbing operatic cover of “Cat Scratch Fever” in the background. 

Terry is making a low humming noise already, arms stretched high above his head while that is definitely dulcimer music playing through the iPhone speakers set up on one of the vents. That is a dulcimer happening. Everything is weird and amazing.

“Of course, we wouldn’t invite just anyone to join us,” Holt says, “but we thought that, given the circumstances, you could handle it.” 

“The circumstances?” Amy asks, faintly, brimming with both pride and confusion until she stops and sighs and says: “Oh, Teddy. I said I was fine. I don’t know why nobody believes me.” 

Terry laughs, deep and earnest, from where he’s now in some complicated position on the ground. 

“Are you saying that you don’t want to join us?” Holt asks. 

“NO,” Amy says, then reigns herself in and says, “I mean, no. It would be an honor.” 

“Then let’s begin with downward facing dog,” he says, and Amy rushes to get to a mat and get started. There’s no reason she can’t use this sympathy ploy for her own benefit. Yoga with the Captain is, like, three steps away from a light lunch with the Captain, which is two steps away from dinner and then she’ll practically be his righthand woman. Everything is falling into place, she thinks, as she tries to pretend like she actually knows how to do yoga and isn’t lamely imitating them when they aren’t paying attention.

*

After lunch, Hitchcock and Scully show up at her desk with a pizza. When she opens the box, it’s in the shape of a broken heart. She scowls at it but thanks them anyway, because it’s good pizza, in Boyle’s top five on his blog.

She’s not entirely surprised when they end up pulling their chairs towards her desk and eating most of the pizza themselves. At least they aren’t trying to make her emote anything. 

*

Amy’s ready to go hide in her apartment for awhile when Rosa stops at her desk. 

“I’ve got to go stakeout that bar that Gina almost got arrested in last year and you’re coming with me,” Rosa says, apropos of nothing, dropping her hands heavily onto Amy’s desk. She’s already got her jacket on and her messenger bag slung over one shoulder, leaning over the desk so her hair falls in her eyes. 

“What are you watching for?” Amy asks. 

“Drugs and stuff,” Rosa says. “Put your coat on.” 

Amy squints suspiciously before she says, “There are no drugs. This is another breakup remedy.” 

“Yes. You’re a great detective. We are going to drink whiskey and throw things at men,” Rosa says. “And if there happens to be anybody with drugs there, we will arrest them.” 

Amy stares at her for a long moment.

“Yeah, okay,” she says. 

*

Amy Santiago is drunk. 

Amy Santiago has been drunk before, but this is different. The world is swimmy and her insides are warm and she is having an honest to god conversation with Rosa effin’ Diaz about something that isn’t violence or work or work-related violence. They spent the first hour drinking increasingly large amounts of whiskey and playing darts until they almost actually hit a random guy with one, at which point Rosa pulled her to a table in the back and handed her another glass and said: “Talk.” 

“About what?” Amy asks, pulling a face. 

“I don’t care, just talk,” Rosa says. “You do it all the time. Like, literally all the time.” 

“I don’t talk _that _much. I’m not as bad as. . .as _Jake_.”__

__“Nobody is as bad as Peralta,” Rosa says. “Talk about that.”_ _

__And so Amy just kind of does. She tells Rosa about the weird Almost Thing between Jake and her and how maybe that was a small part of why things ended with Teddy—and then, then she’s talking about Teddy and how Gina slipped her a note that said that “the best way to get over a dude is to get under another dude and then text the first dude all the deets.”_ _

__Rosa says, “I’ve found that drinking can replace the feeling of affection,” and Amy laughs and raises her glass so Rosa will toast with her._ _

__It’s really nice, just being here and not feeling like she’s obligated to be eating her feelings or crying or listening to slow jams. It’s nice being here with Rosa. She’s glad there was actually no drug ring here, which she tells Rosa when she’s helping Amy up the stairs to her apartment later that night._ _

__“You know,” Amy says, leaning in and laughing lowly. “You know, this is the best date that I’ve had maybe ever, and it wasn’t even a date.”_ _

__She’s still holding onto Rosa, mostly out of survival, because her legs are wobbly and the world is also wobbly._ _

__“Maybe you’re dating the wrong people,” Rosa says, and there’s something in the way her hand tightens around Amy’s arm, just a little, that makes Amy’s breath go away. She’s not entirely sure what’s happening until they’re all up in each other’s space, Rosa with her back to Amy’s door, Amy’s nose brushing up against her cheek._ _

__“I haven’t,” Amy says, distracted by the fact that she’s almost panting against the side of Rosa’s face, “With a girl—a woman,” because, yeah, Rosa’s not a girl. Rosa has possibly never been a girl. Rosa probably came out of the womb as a grownass woman wearing tasteful leather, and Amy has always been kind of jealous of that, except she’s not jealous right now. She is definitely something other than jealous._ _

__“You want to?” Rosa asks. She pulls away, fingers tripping to a stop on Amy’s thigh. Her eyes go dark and serious, and Amy doesn’t realize she’s saying yes until she’s saying: “Yeah, yes,” and pushing Rosa back against the door to kiss her with teeth. Rosa laughs into her mouth and kisses back._ _

__“We can just make out,” Rosa says, her fingers tucked into the waistband of Amy’s slacks and her breath hot against her jaw. “Mostly because we are both too drunk to do anything else.”_ _

__“That’s very gentlemanly of you,” Amy replies, patting her on the cheek._ _

__“I meant motor skills wise,” Rosa says, “but that, too.”_ _

__Amy giggles in a way that she vaguely IDs as undignified, and then Rosa is kissing her towards her bedroom and onto Amy’s bed. She’s really glad that she made it that morning and that they’re falling onto a recently washed comforter and not period stain sheets._ _

__“You’re better at this than I imagined,” Rosa says, gruffly, and Amy should probably be offended, but it’s hard to be when she’s drunk on the taste of whiskey sours on Rosa’s tongue. They fall asleep half undressed on top of the comforter, Amy’s nose pressed against Rosa’s collarbone where she smells like sweat and soap, the sound of her ceiling fan clicking again and again and again underneath Rosa’s slow breathing._ _

__*_ _

__The next morning, Rosa wakes Amy up with a soft nip at her neck, and Amy startles until she remembers where she is—then she startles again. In her bra and dress pants with an equally disarrayed coworker is not exactly where she expected to end up, nevertheless _this_ coworker. Rosa’s wearing a black sports bra and her jeans are unbuttoned and slipping down over her hips. _ _

__“We’re not drunk anymore,” Rosa says._ _

__“Nope,” Amy replies, trying to make her brain—still fuzzy, a little hungover and also just _exploding_ —form other words and failing. _ _

__“We don’t have to be at work until ten,” Rosa continues, not skipping a beat. “So I can go home and sleep more in my own bed and we’ll never talk about this again, or I can go down on you right now.”_ _

__Yeah. Exploding is the right word for what Amy’s brain is doing right now._ _

__“Can we make out again, first?” she asks, weakly, and Rosa’s quick grin makes her stomach do something crazy that doesn’t stop when their lips meet. Amy answers quiet affirmatives into her mouth as Rosa asks her questions, if she can take her bra off, if she likes being bitten, where she can touch her and how. They’re both naked soon and Amy hasn’t felt like this in a really long time, desperate and grasping and eventually she gasps out, “Will you—will you, please?”_ _

__“Will I what?” Rosa asks, shit-eating grin back as she looms over her, long hair pushed away from her face so Amy can see that her cheeks are pink._ _

__“What you said you’d do earlier,” Amy says, arching up a little, looking for friction._ _

__“Nuh uh,” Rosa says, pulling away. “Got to say it.”_ _

__Amy meets her gaze for a long moment, then smiles, because she knows a challenge when she hears one. And she never turns down a challenge._ _

__“Will you go down on me?” she asks, sweetly, and Rosa kisses her one more time before moving down on the bed to follow through with her offer._ _

__*_ _

__“Oh my _god_ , I want to smoke,” Amy gasps, after she’s figured out how to breathe again and Rosa has crawled back up her body to collapse beside her. _ _

__Rosa grins, stretches out like a cat._ _

__“I can have that effect on people,” she says. They lay quietly for a few moments before Rosa continues, nonchalantly, “You know, don’t worry if you can’t keep up yet. Not everybody can be as good as me.”_ _

__Amy shakes her head._ _

__“How long do we have before we have to be at the station?” she asks, sitting up to level Rosa with an even stare._ _

__“Long enough,” Rosa says, not looking at the clock, laughing sharply when Amy moves to pin her to the bed and straddle her hips._ _

__Maybe she could be a little late today._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I am detectivekatebishop on Tumblr if you want to follow me. Send me prompts and stuff.


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